9 More Ways Men's Work Changed My Life
Part II: Further Reflections on the Potent Medicine of Men's Work
Announcement: Men, 5 days left till the doors officially close for the upcoming chapter in Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart. Apply by March 10th if you feel the call to join us.
This private council is a powerful and nourishing space for men to experience ongoing healing, growth, integration of wisdom, accountability, camaraderie, and to collectively discover what mature masculinity looks like in 2025. Monthly financial contribution is on a sliding scale to meet men where they are. You can read more about the brotherhood and apply here, or just go ahead and book a free heart-to-heart exploration call with me here:
Men,
Yesterday I shared with you 11 ways Men’s Work has changed my life.
Today I’m bringing you Part II, with 9 more ways Men’s Work has altered my existence. Let’s get into it:
1. Finding and Living Your Calling
Men’s Work often places a strong emphasis on finding and living your true calling(s).
There’s a good reason for this. Men thrive when they feel a strong sense of aligned mission and purpose.
Sometimes in Men’s Work you’ll do specific exercises designed to help you gain clarity on your calling. Beyond that, though, simply through doing the work and showing up for Men’s Work over a long span of time, you will learn a massive amount about yourself on all levels—and thus you’ll have a clearer sense of who you are, what you love, and what you’re truly meant to be doing in this world.
For myself, Men’s Work undoubtedly helped me get clearer on my calling, as it turned out that diving much deeper into Men’s Work, and becoming a leader/space-holder in this Work, was a deep and sincere calling for me.
Furthermore, it’s helped me get really clear on the fact that my overarching meta-calling in life at this time is to open my Heart and be Love for myself and those around me—and that my four major interconnected callings/expressions emerging from this meta-calling are: Space-holding, writing, music, and caring for my family.
2. Co-Discovering the Future of Mature Masculinity
Building on the last point, it is widely said at this time in history that masculinity is ‘in crisis.’
(Alex Beiner has a great piece exploring the crisis of masculinity—highly recommended.)
Look around at the world, and you’ll notice that men are confused. Their role in families and society has been shifting in tectonic ways for the past century. Many men feel disoriented and are no longer sure what valuable role they have to play in life.
As such, suicide and addiction rates among men are staggeringly high. From Wikipedia:
“The incidence of suicide is vastly higher among males than females among all age groups in most of the world. As of 2015, almost two-thirds of worldwide suicides (representing about 1.5% of all deaths) are by men.”
Many men feel lost at this point in history. There is a great need to come together as brothers and to collectively bring forth an inspiring ‘North Star’ vision of mature masculinity that is widely resonant, as we move forward into the 21st century.
Far from being without value, men of integrity are arguably needed now, more than ever—in this nuclear, ecocidal age of ‘global catastrophic risk,’ in which the stakes are higher than any time prior.
Strong, heart-led male leadership is sorely lacking in the world today. Men need role models they can truly respect and seek to emulate. They need direction and guidance. They need to feel that there are wise elder men who care about them and who have blazed the trails of life and can help them find their way through.
Men’s Work provides a setting and context for men to find those role models, to become those role models, and to collectively co-discover what mature masculinity looks like in 2023 and beyond.
3. Embodying the Archetypes of Mature Masculinity
The book King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette, has been highly influential in the mythopoetic men’s movement, and with good reason.
Examining the healthy (and shadow) expressions of these four major masculine archetypes—the King, the Warrior, the Magician, and the Lover—brings forth a profound lens through which to view masculinity.
I won’t go much into the nuances of this here, but suffice to say that in their full and healthy expression, the Lover connects a man to the sensuous joys of living; the Magician allows a man to skillfully harness knowledge and wisdom; the Warrior fuels a man to take action and to be unrelenting in his pursuit of his mission or calling; and the King empowers a man to become a heart-centered leader and benevolent steward of his domain, in service to the Whole.
4. Playfulness & Creativity
Though Men’s Work can often be quite serious, there are also a lot of laughs.
And in some Circles, like the ones I lead, there are exercises—writing, poetry, dance, improv, etc.—that can further help unlock playfulness and creativity.
Playfulness and creativity are great boons in life.
They spice up all relationships and situations.
They bring a medicinal levity into smooth or challenging times.
They allow you to begin making your entire life into an art-work.
All of us are born creative geniuses. May we reclaim our inner genius.
5. Authenticity & Communication
Authenticity is a massive aspect of Men’s Work.
It’s an absolute cornerstone of the practice.
You show up each and every week, take off your masks, and show other men your real, raw, vulnerable self.
This is incredibly healing and transformational for many reasons.
One of the most powerful, is that you feel more and more like yourself.
You become more of who you truly are.
You gain a deeper, visceral, embodied sense of what it means to speak and live your truth.
And you get better at actually communicating your own subtle emotional truth, deeply listening to others do the same, and responding with sensitivity, directness, and compassion.
These gifts are priceless and will have positive ripple effects in all your relationships.
6. Sealing Energy Leaks
There are many ways that humans ‘leak energy’—i.e. give away their power, momentum, integrity, single-pointedness, and solidity through misaligned or mishandled activities.
The most notable energy leaks are addictions, distractions, toxic relationships, poor health habits, unhandled pragmatic affairs, lying & dishonesty, shady dealings, and so forth.
Men’s Work helps a lot on these fronts. That’s not to say that it’s a panacea or a cure for all deeply-rooted energy leaks, but it’s a strong support system.
For myself, the Men’s Circles I’ve led and participated in have definitely been huge in this regard. I’ve cleaned up my life and sealed leaks in huge ways through men’s work. I am currently doing 4 different 1-year commitments—including no porn, no device usage around my daughter, and highly restricted social media. My life feels deeply aligned with my core values and callings.
Men’s Work simply inspires me to show up fully for myself, my family, my brothers, and the world.
7. Awakening & Deepening of Faith
Depending on the Men’s Circle, there may be a great emphasis on faith and spirituality, or there may not be.
Within Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart, this is a foundational element. I’m proud to say that we are non-dogmatic, welcoming interfaith and interpath dialogue.
I infuse an opening guided meditation and a closing prayer into almost every session, helping men to be still, connect to the body, center in the heart, and make space for authentic contact with Divinity to blossom. I also sometimes incorporate breathwork, or invite the men to undertake cleansing/fasting challenges, both of which support spiritual purification and connection. For me a Men’s Circle in its entirety is essentially a sacred meditation practice of Deep Listening & Profound Heart-Centered Presence.
Spending time regularly in Heart-Centered Presence, with men who hold a deep sense of Faith & Trust in the flow of Life, is powerful. Again, there can be an ‘osmosis’ effect here of absorbing the wisdom other men have embodied.
Through the ups and downs of human life, there is no greater ally than Profound Faith. If you always trust that every single thing that is occurring is part of the Divine Order, you find great relief in the midst of suffering, and you are always on the lookout for gifts and gems hidden in every experience—and when you look for them, you find them.
8. Sacred Relationships With Women (And All People)
Deep commitment to Men’s Work leads to sacred relationships with women.
You become the type of man who meets and forms profound (romantic) relationships with aligned, conscious women.
If you want to meet an aligned woman, you must first come into deep alignment with yourself. You must start living and emanating your truth, and being a man of integrity.
The greatest women in the world are looking for the type of men that are developed through Men’s Work: Men who are true to themselves, who are trustworthy, who can communicate sensitively yet directly, who value healing, who live their callings, who are grounded, humble, heart-opened, shadow-integrated, growth-oriented, strong, healthy, present, embodied, playful, creative, grateful, in service, able to hold space, and in Trust of Life.
These qualities allow a man to discover truly next-level relationships with women, and with all people.
Men’s Work has undoubtedly improved my relationship with my wonderful wife, Tanja, and our beloved daughter, Lila. It has made me a better man, a better partner, a better father, a better son, a better brother, and a better person in all of my relationships.
9. Leadership Development
When you add up all these elements of Men’s Work we discussed in Part I and II…
Deep Healing
Growth & Integrity
Integration & Accountability
Heart-Opening
Grounding
Humbling
Service & Space-Holding
Friendship & Brotherhood
Shadow Work & Blindspot-Illumination
Ceasing to Play the ‘Nice Guy’ and Leaning Into Your ‘Masculine Edge’
Co-Discovering the Future of Mature Masculinity
Physical Training & Holistic Well-Being
Embodying the Archetypes of Mature Masculinity
Finding and Living Your Calling
Playfulness & Creativity
Authenticity & Communication
Sealing Energy Leaks
Awakening & Deepening of Faith
Sacred Relationships With Women (And All People)
You can see why Men’s Work creates leaders.
Men who embody these qualities are natural leaders, and are always going to be greatly needed in their families, communities, and world.
I have no doubt that I have become a stronger leader through this work.
In Sum: A Slow Roast, Not an Overnight Solution
Our culture is obsessed with quick-fixes and overnight solutions.
Unfortunately, when it comes to true healing and transformation, shortcuts don’t really exist.
One of my Men’s Work mentors, Jiro Taylor, spoke a lot about this. He spoke about the ‘slow roast’ of true transformation and integration.
Men’s Work is not an overnight solution.
It’s the real deal.
An actual long-term antidote to many of the ills, confusions, and trials modern men face.
A deep path toward true healing, heart-opening, integration, embodiment, and transformation.
The only catch is that you actually have to show up and do the work.
No one is going to do it for you.
You have to consistently show up for yourself and your brothers, in Circle, week in and week out, over a long span of time, to really understand the benefits. And you have to apply what you learn in your life.
I’m talking several months minimum to start to taste the deeper, long-term benefits of this Work, and more likely years to integrate true healing and transformation in a sustainable fashion. A single Circle can be beautiful, healing, and inspiring, yet it’s the ‘long game’ that bears the rare fruit of lasting change.
This is why I require men to commit to at least 3 months when they join Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart. The hope and prayer is that this is a solid amount of time for a man to start to understand how powerful this Work is and how deep it can go, so he will then feel inspired to stay put for a longer ‘slow roast.’
Again, no one else can do the work for you, brother.
And you are not meant to do it alone.
In a Men’s Circle, you know you’re not alone. Your brothers are there for you, week in and week out, supporting you, showing up for you. And you’re showing up for them too.
And even more importantly, if you’re committed to this work, you’re showing up for yourself and those around you in your *daily life*, with devotion and discipline, as you strive to truly *live* and *integrate* and *embody* your deepest wisdom.
This is the real work.
It’s not nearly as romantic-sounding as all the New Age fluff about ‘instant activations’ and ‘quantum leaps’ and ‘rapid manifestations’ and all that jazz.
It just happens to be what actually works.
Truly showing up and giving your best, day in, day out, for years on end.
Who woulda thunk it, eh? : )
Any pro athlete could’ve told you that, yet for some reason, many of us (myself included) in our culture are obsessed with trying to find the ‘hack,’ the ‘shortcut,’ the secret way to teleport to the finish line.
Yet it doesn’t really exist.
Yes, in a profound sense, home is now. The finish line is now. And you can notice that at any time. Yet without embracing natural long-term growth and the dedicated cultivation of our gifts, the human dimension of your life will tend to stagnate. Deep jewels of embodied integration will elude you.
There is no replacement for a daily commitment to Love, Gratitude, and Excellence.
There is no fulfillment like that of making your entire Life into a Prayer and Celebration of the Divine Gift of Being.
That is my truth in this moment. That is where my experience has led me.
Am I perfect at all this stuff?
No!
I’m definitely human, and it’s a never-ending practice.
Yet this practice of praying for the opening of my Heart, and renewing my commitment to Love, Truth, and Gratitude…
As I do my best to show up fully for my family, my friends, my brothers, and my world, in alignment with my callings, in service to God…
It just feels right in my Heart.
It feels warm. It feels true.
It feels like my path.
And Men’s Work helped me find it.
Thank you to the many great brothers I have met through this work, for continuously inspiring me to be a better man.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jordan
P.S. Brother, if you read this far, you’re a champion, and I encourage you to join us in Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart. I invite you to book a free heart-to-heart exploration call with me here:
(If none of the scheduled times work for you, just email me at jordan.bates1991 [at] gmail.com and we can find a time. I’m flexible.)
“Working with Jordan was one of the most beautiful and transformative and important things that has ever happened to me.”
— Edward, Artist, Sweden
Brothers: 5 days left to join us for this next chapter…
Once more, men, 5 days left till the doors officially close for the upcoming chapter in Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart.
Apply by March 10th if you feel the call to join us.
This private council is a powerful and nourishing space for men to experience ongoing healing, growth, integration, accountability, camaraderie, and to collectively discover what mature masculinity looks like in 2025.
Monthly financial contribution is on a sliding scale to meet men where they are.
You can read more about the brotherhood and apply here, or just go ahead and book a free heart-to-heart exploration call with me here: